Fear.

My Psych final was today. We didn’t have an exam, just a final paper dealing with a psychological model explaining the Self in light of the fall. One of the main conclusions in this model was the fact that the False Self (fallen away from what God created) lives in fear.

Part of the paper was to integrate ourselves into the model, to show how the model works by giving examples of our own lives. That was hard. To write an academic paper about true fears you are struggling with, things you hardly tell anyone.
The root problems are fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, and fear of humiliation. But out of this, I’ve found
I’m afraid of friendship
I’m afraid of leading worship
I’m afraid of speaking up in class
I’m afraid of conversation
I’m afraid of acceptance
I’m afraid of arguments with my boyfriend
I’m afraid to start or continue music lessons
I’m afraid to audition for anything
And as I remembered today, I’m afraid to confront someone who I know has deeply hurt someone else in my life, so I just content myself with glaring at the back of their heads.
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