smatterings (ie, recent thoughts)

last night I talked with God all the way home from work. it was pretty sweet. God has a sense of humor and he made me laugh. sharing a joke with God in the car. that gave me chills.

I realized recently that I’ve come to love my hometown. that’s not normal for me. I still can’t stand the suburbs that sprawl forever – the inbetween of city and country drives me crazy. but part of what I love is the diversity here. for example, I am in biking distance of authentic restaurants and supermarkets for the following: Mexican, Vietnamese, Korean, Indian. tasty. but, yeah … somehow I finally have peace here. and that scares me, because I’m worried that it means God wants me to live here. forever. I doubt I could do that sanely.

relatedly, I don’t think I could live in a small town. in trying to explain to this to my mom, I couldn’t think of the right word for why small towns don’t attract my attention. they’re too … monogamous (no…), monotonous (not quite) … I decided on monoethnotic. it’s a new term that I expect to see in textbooks everywhere soon.

I’m struggling [sidenote on word choice here. I was going to say “struggling hard-core” but I wanted to sound more esoteric, so I looked for a synonym … and did you know “hard-core” is actually a legitimate word in the dictionary? so with that I think I shall stick with “hard-core.” in honor of its legitimacy. and now back to your regular scheduled programming.] … struggling hard-core with materialism and need vs. want. it was so easy to define in Rwanda, where it made sense. now that I’m in the world’s capital of excess it’s not so simple. just because something would be a good thing to buy doesn’t mean I need it. even the definition of the word “need” is so changeable depending on circumstances. I need a pair of canvas shoes to wear everywhere. in addition to my six other pairs of shoes. the little boy who I’m betting 5,000 Rwandan francs will be the future president of Rwanda … he just needs a pair of shoes. {thanks to Laura Convy for the picture}

a while ago I decided the ideal number of kids was five. however. this would necessitate driving a minivan. so maybe I won’t have five kids.

speaking of minivans, I hate when they pass me on the road. it’s excessively degrading.

also, Michael Jackson died yesterday. sad. actually, honestly, I hardly felt a twinge of sadness. am I destined to be a hardened criminal? anyway … I get a daily news email from the BBC, and of course his death was all over it. first story in “Top Stories,” “Americas,” and “Entertainment.” now, I know that he was no small name in this world. but the news of his death gets priority over headlines like “US says weapons sent to Somalia.” stuff that has serious international ramifications. what an interesting world we live in.

and why do I always forget that it is a bad idea for me to drink coffee on an empty stomach? coffee jitters, you are NOT my friend.


One thought on “smatterings (ie, recent thoughts)

  1. Amy says:

    so true…i’ve been learning to deal with need vs. want this year as well. it’s not easy, that’s for sure. it takes a lot of dying to self. i’m still learning about it, in fact! i enjoy hearing your thoughts…and makes me wish we could talk together more! i enjoyed getting to see and visit with you this weekend!

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