I sometimes endlessly ingested Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women, and grew up falling in love with Christian Bale & Winona Ryder’s movie version.
But the ending, whether print or film, always left me dissatisfied. Why, oh why, did spunky Jo, my idol, my model, my heart, why did she settle for an old geezer like Bhaer? He was nice, for sure, but with a niceness that seemed to fall into the realm of someone’s grandpa. Not a heartthrob like Teddy. I mean, come on.
No contest, right?
I had a dream in high school, or middle school, I think, in which I ended up marrying Professor Bhaer. I found myself in the same setting as the movie, in pouring rain, under an umbrella . . . either that or in a school hallway. Anyways, I kissed this man I knew I was going to marry, and looked up, and it was Professor Bhaer. I woke up horrified. Never would such a thing happened to me.
Then this morning, I realized, as the anvil fell on my head, that Jo was on to something. She wasn’t settling. Not at all.
I realized this morning that Professor Bhaer is my ideal man. Behold:
- An older man. When Bhaer and Jo get married, he is around 40 and she in her mid-twenties, leaving an age-gap of 15ish years. My current ideal age for a man is 35, which leaves an age gap of 13 years. (Although I did just realize that this means he would be closer to my mom’s age than mine. Details.) Men mature at a slower rate than do women, so at this age he would likely be more wise, as well as have more life experience.
- European. I really don’t know what else I need to say to support the validity of this point.
- Professor. My current dream job is to be a professor and author. My current favorite men’s fashion look is professorial. I love academics.
There it is. We are destined for each other, Professor Bhaer and I, whenever we find each other.
I’ve always identified with Jo, and in fact last year that was my apartment’s nickname for me. And finally I can identify with her choice of Bhaer.
Meant to be. That’s all I’ve got to say.